Have decided to make this anonymous again. Do i really want people to know what i write? The only thing it served was to hinder the thoughts which usually flow, and i've decided that like therapy, the only acceptable thing is to talk about what i want. Me, myself and i tis time.
Work has been crazy, and i hate to say this, but i think im becoming a workaholic.I start bright and early, as early as 7, only to reach home after midnight. I dream about my subjects, not because they have fantastic chests, but because i want desperately for everything to be perfect. Desperately.
Its a drug for me also because being immersed in work keeps you from being restless, allows you to fall into bed tired for once. The only bad thing is that i need more ciggie breaks, and i dont care who knows it. Today two things from the still quiet voice.. One- quit. Just a simple word, but i knew he meant my smoking. Quit that and your health will fall into place. Two- Get back to church. Your life will fall into place. I've always known my name was a trial to me, a test that wld make or break me. And how true that is coming to be..
Im tired of all the assorted emotions life makes you jump rope for. True, certain things are worth it, but until i find something that is.. until it comes up and bites me in my face, i wont stop for it. Will i lose opportunities? I might, but its better than looking for it in all the wrong places.
Im so thankful for my colleagues.. The other day rach brewed chrysanthemum and ginseng for me. How sweet is that??? Thankful for the note that reminded me to smile, thankful for the laughter that we have when im stressed and i start talking rubbish, thankful for the chocolate that appears on my table from no where.. Thankful for the offers of help, and pats on the back.
Im thankful for k, thankful his daughter made it thru so nicely. What a beaut she is..
Thankful for the love that friendship brings to me whether during good or bad times.
