Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Epi.pha.ny

Definition- a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something
(2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking
(3) : an illuminating discovery b : a revealing scene or moment .

Sudden manifestation through not e, but something else :)
I've realised how blessed i've been all this while, and now especially, because i've been surrounded all this time by incredible people who love me no matter what a fantastic twat i am sometimes.

More fool of me not to realise it, when it was right in front of me, and i didn't accept it, because it didn't fit in with my myopic and self centered definition. Amazing to know, that you can be yourself, and know that there will always be friends to fall back on, and to tell you that everythings going to be okay.. It might have taken a quarter of a century for me to realise it..but better late than never. Its been nothing less than an awe inspiring, and painfully tweaked week for me, and for the first time, i can honestly say i am content :)

Fwoah.

As the year draws to a close, i look back and take a deep breath.

I've witnessed 2 abortions, 6 weddings, 2 births (one of them a pair of twins), 1 divorce, 1 death.

I've reconciled myself to the fact that i will cry at weddings, that there will be nothing you can do to stop a death, and that my ass will always seem bigger in the rear view mirror to me.

I've discovered that telling friends you love them and having it reciprocated, just because, is one of the world's best feelings.

I've learnt its okay to let go and be as sweet as only a woman has a perogative to.. that its okay to be a bitch sometimes because i have my limits and im not perfect. And that its okay to show people that you're not that hardened after all..

Above all, to love myself, because i deserve nothing less.

Merry christmas me.