listening to: warning shots
thievary corporation

Last night was upsetting on two counts. The whole evening wasn't entirely marred by them, but i took the two home, and i can't stop thinking.

Work these days has been fabulous.. Have you ever exchanged coy smiles with someone over a little secret, presumably something only the two of you know? An innocent touch becomes a deliberate one, one that is all the more delicious for being so scantily veiled in intention; you notice little details about your leetle darlink' that are remembered when you are alone, and replay comes so easily. During our night at work, we shared an empty room for our break which ultimately lasted 4 hours.Too bad i fell asleep before anything could happen. Ooops. We were just talking. What were you thinking?

This morning i saw dede looking at me with a strange look. A small frown, with a slightly bitchy sidelook. (Indian, what.) It's plainly a measuring glance. She's never looked at me that way before. She knows.. Didi's a nice, godly girl whom i like, and she's the best friend of my psuedo playmate. How could she not disapprove? I feel a little sorry that she has to know, but one's orientation is not exactly chosen. it's given. i didn't have a choice. What can i say? I'm only sorry that these things are stereotyped by someone whom i treat as a good friend. A person can go to church, and want a personal relationship with god, but it doesn't mean that she has to be perfect in the world's eyes.

My little distraction at work was just that. A little later into the course of the day though, i received a msg from someone whom i've been spending alot of time with. I won't go into detail, but im so utterly crushed. Time and time again i've been terribly disappointed by this numbnut. Men can be so tactless without meaning anything. Why are they so incredibly, fantastically, irrevocably dumb? Surely they need something more solid to stand up to a woman's unreasonableness?

I should have been born a feminist butch.

Why, why, why??