I had a really crap dream last night.
I dreamt that someone had been cultivating vats of leeches in some hdb basement, and that the leeches had somehow gotten into the water supply. they spread all over the place, became an epidemic and worse.. i dreamt they were actually crawling pass/into/through my skin. Being the happily lucid dreamer that i am, i even gave myself the thoughtful view of what they looked like coming into my body from the inside of me. So i see this black wriggly thing first wavering towards my body heat, then slowly shrinking itself to squeeze through my unbroken skin and once the head's through, opening its big mouth to clamp onto my bloody, pink flesh.
Nasty. At several points they even flew, so like a swarm of flies in india they converged upon me with not a collective buzz, but with a noisy sort of silent squishing. And you can't brush them off because they hook onto you instantly, so all i cld do was let my hand brush at their slimy little expanding bodies like so many short fat strands of chin chow.
Cue dream dictionary, because i can't even begin to imagine what the dream means.
Leeches: To see or be bitten by leeches in your dream, refers to something in your life that is draining the energy and vigor out of you. The dream may refer to people, habits, or negative emotions that are sucking you out of your vitality. Alternatively, if your body is covered in leeches, then you are feeling disgusted by your own body or repulsed by something you have done.
Fucking exams. Thank god they're over by tuesday. If i had studied this hard when i was in primary school, i'd be a nuclear physicist by now.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Its lovely to have a boss who doesnt care if youre at your desk or not, just as long as you get your work done.
Thankfully, most doctors are like that. They are so in a world of their own, they'll happily let legal paperwork which is due in 2 mins sit on their desk for another 4 mths under fire hazards on their desks while you constantly remind them via calls, mail and smses. Then when you look for them in their clinics because you have had enough of their shite, they turn to you and say,
"
There are easier ways to get my signature.
"
That was a good one.
They're funny folks, they are. The one i have now is actually rather sweet, so much so im reluctantly willing to sacrifice alot more for him albeit a little grumpily, because i know he's a really nice guy. He offered me chocolates (Chocolates!) with such a boyish big smile and earnest sincerity (when was the last time you had utter sincerity from a person?) when i went to bug him that my heart melted and i had to resist the urge to pat him on his head and tell him he's doing fine.
Thankfully, most doctors are like that. They are so in a world of their own, they'll happily let legal paperwork which is due in 2 mins sit on their desk for another 4 mths under fire hazards on their desks while you constantly remind them via calls, mail and smses. Then when you look for them in their clinics because you have had enough of their shite, they turn to you and say,
"
There are easier ways to get my signature.
"
That was a good one.
They're funny folks, they are. The one i have now is actually rather sweet, so much so im reluctantly willing to sacrifice alot more for him albeit a little grumpily, because i know he's a really nice guy. He offered me chocolates (Chocolates!) with such a boyish big smile and earnest sincerity (when was the last time you had utter sincerity from a person?) when i went to bug him that my heart melted and i had to resist the urge to pat him on his head and tell him he's doing fine.
I have this new girl and i cant stop staring at her. Well. Parts of her.
You know how some girls are so hairy, when they bend over and you see a large expanse of back, there's hair there? Not there. Just on the lower back. A 'not so fine', 'not so sprinkled as liberally plowed and grown' kind of hair there.
I havn't had the opportunity of seeing her bending over in my face, so i can't comment on her back. For all i know she has the baldest body tits downward, but it must be excluding her arms. I swear its not like the normal straight kind of arm hair you see on typically hairy women. I know she'll never have to tell anyone she has natural curls.
I tried to look for hairy pics, but all i found was a site from some man telling the world about his boners from pictures of beautiful hairy women.
The ironic part is that she does a beautiful shave and moisturise on her legs. Not a ingrown hair in sight. What's a hairy girl to do? Damned if you do, damed if you dont!
You know how some girls are so hairy, when they bend over and you see a large expanse of back, there's hair there? Not there. Just on the lower back. A 'not so fine', 'not so sprinkled as liberally plowed and grown' kind of hair there.
I havn't had the opportunity of seeing her bending over in my face, so i can't comment on her back. For all i know she has the baldest body tits downward, but it must be excluding her arms. I swear its not like the normal straight kind of arm hair you see on typically hairy women. I know she'll never have to tell anyone she has natural curls.
I tried to look for hairy pics, but all i found was a site from some man telling the world about his boners from pictures of beautiful hairy women.
The ironic part is that she does a beautiful shave and moisturise on her legs. Not a ingrown hair in sight. What's a hairy girl to do? Damned if you do, damed if you dont!
I've always told the better half he was lucky.
Not because he's naturally skinny and white ( i am so going to have my ass whuped) and has nicer legs than i have, but because ive never been the kind of girl who wants to get married as soon as financially or decently possible.
When i was a younger girl (how do you define woman?), i had friends who married because they didn't believe in planning. And i promised myself it would never happen to me.
When i was a slightly older girl, i looked at the relationships between mothers and daughters. They were so volatile to me, even then, i swore. I would never let the possibility of that happen to me.
When i was even older, i looked at the marriage dynamics of the people around me, and i told myself.. it will never happen to me.
Its a battle against common sense, of what people tell you and what you want to believe. Damned if you do, damned if you dont. Whats a girl to do?
Not because he's naturally skinny and white ( i am so going to have my ass whuped) and has nicer legs than i have, but because ive never been the kind of girl who wants to get married as soon as financially or decently possible.
When i was a younger girl (how do you define woman?), i had friends who married because they didn't believe in planning. And i promised myself it would never happen to me.
When i was a slightly older girl, i looked at the relationships between mothers and daughters. They were so volatile to me, even then, i swore. I would never let the possibility of that happen to me.
When i was even older, i looked at the marriage dynamics of the people around me, and i told myself.. it will never happen to me.
Its a battle against common sense, of what people tell you and what you want to believe. Damned if you do, damned if you dont. Whats a girl to do?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I took a peek at the C.v that had been sent to me. As i read through the list leading to yet more lists of accomplishments, my pulse quickened and i couldn't help but rest a palm against my chest because i felt overwhelmed and.. slightly dizzy. Linguistically a genius, the cunningness not at all concealed; Musically learnt, and as always i think of the nimbleness and quickness of concert performers; Academically.. I figure i counted 2 non distinctions.
How often do you meet a person who really inspires you to do more?
It would be easier if he was a complete bastard, so i could console myself with the fact that everyone hates him but unfortunately, as these things turn out, he is a total and complete sweetheart. Thanks god.
Why does intelligence in its varied forms make you/me/us wet? For women perhaps it's linked to an inherent need to want to choose a man whose able to lead you to a more secure path. But why does it affect men in the same way?
And yet- to want to do more than the nothing i'm overly familiar with- How can it be bad?
How could I have felt so weak and so passive at twenty and feel so strong now?
It is so wonderful. - Anais Nin at 69
How often do you meet a person who really inspires you to do more?
It would be easier if he was a complete bastard, so i could console myself with the fact that everyone hates him but unfortunately, as these things turn out, he is a total and complete sweetheart. Thanks god.
Why does intelligence in its varied forms make you/me/us wet? For women perhaps it's linked to an inherent need to want to choose a man whose able to lead you to a more secure path. But why does it affect men in the same way?
And yet- to want to do more than the nothing i'm overly familiar with- How can it be bad?
How could I have felt so weak and so passive at twenty and feel so strong now?
It is so wonderful. - Anais Nin at 69
Monday, December 18, 2006
Is tiredness a good excuse?
Moi: Do you have any idea what her age is?
BD: Don't know, never asked. Know shes the same age as her hubbie though.
Moi: Uh. But... You know how old he is right?
BD: Yeah. 34.
Sometimes, it's better to just let some things pass :)
BD: Don't know, never asked. Know shes the same age as her hubbie though.
Moi: Uh. But... You know how old he is right?
BD: Yeah. 34.
Sometimes, it's better to just let some things pass :)
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Some people take 'it' ie: the chronic state of being six kinds of a moron, to the extremes.
Went into the recreation room in the unit after lights out to find a middle aged *man nearing the age of 40, in a crouch in front of the main door. He wrung hands and lamented that i was just lucky to have caught him. I might have been amused if he had had chosen a better place to hide.
*term used broadly
Went into the recreation room in the unit after lights out to find a middle aged *man nearing the age of 40, in a crouch in front of the main door. He wrung hands and lamented that i was just lucky to have caught him. I might have been amused if he had had chosen a better place to hide.
*term used broadly
Friday, September 01, 2006
Ramble ahead, proceed with caution.
Religion is such a volatile, emotional topic, even when just brooding about it with myself. Isn't it with you as well?
Typically i change the subject when someone brings up issues, because regardless of whether they share the same faith, viewpoints are never the same. You could spend time getting annoyed at someone who says christians started the war and thus muslims have been on the warpath ever since. You could get miffed when someone remarks that perhaps spirits are somehow preventing me from getting that urge to marry (wtf?), but at the same time i find myself dissing the teachings of my own church.
Take circumcision. Invariably someone will say that was in the old testament, and as such, is hardly relevant. OK, fine. In that case, are the 10 comandments just guidelines, and passe? Or.... The creation of the world in 7 days. We're not supposed to take things literally? Fine. Then whats with the brouhaha and outrage of the big bang, and evolution? If it's not in the bible, then what are we honestly supposed to believe?
And the curious thing is.. If it's written nowhere, how can some people be so sure about it? I figure if you knew everything for certain, you'd be..God.
Typically i change the subject when someone brings up issues, because regardless of whether they share the same faith, viewpoints are never the same. You could spend time getting annoyed at someone who says christians started the war and thus muslims have been on the warpath ever since. You could get miffed when someone remarks that perhaps spirits are somehow preventing me from getting that urge to marry (wtf?), but at the same time i find myself dissing the teachings of my own church.
Take circumcision. Invariably someone will say that was in the old testament, and as such, is hardly relevant. OK, fine. In that case, are the 10 comandments just guidelines, and passe? Or.... The creation of the world in 7 days. We're not supposed to take things literally? Fine. Then whats with the brouhaha and outrage of the big bang, and evolution? If it's not in the bible, then what are we honestly supposed to believe?
And the curious thing is.. If it's written nowhere, how can some people be so sure about it? I figure if you knew everything for certain, you'd be..God.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
One man's meat may be another's poison.
I sit back with a smile as an idle thought flits in and out... One's useless lump may be just that to 'some' man, but to another it could be a morsel that he just has to want, like the day i had nothing but chicken rice because, inexplicably, i couldn't get enough.
I may have a burger with foie gras just to see what something so wrongly expensive tastes like, or i might go to a country themed restaurant to have a taste of something more exotic on my tongue; I might want to try a dish only once, or share it with friends becuase some things are best shared that way; I might want to have jalapeno chips on the side because im tired of soup,
but i'll always come back to my chicken rice.
So don't feel miffed that someone has compared you to a dish to be had anywhere, or to a simple pleasure you think you're better than. Somethings are more than a passing phase, and i know i'll won't ever get tired of my lumps of chicken rice meat :)
I sit back with a smile as an idle thought flits in and out... One's useless lump may be just that to 'some' man, but to another it could be a morsel that he just has to want, like the day i had nothing but chicken rice because, inexplicably, i couldn't get enough.
I may have a burger with foie gras just to see what something so wrongly expensive tastes like, or i might go to a country themed restaurant to have a taste of something more exotic on my tongue; I might want to try a dish only once, or share it with friends becuase some things are best shared that way; I might want to have jalapeno chips on the side because im tired of soup,
but i'll always come back to my chicken rice.
So don't feel miffed that someone has compared you to a dish to be had anywhere, or to a simple pleasure you think you're better than. Somethings are more than a passing phase, and i know i'll won't ever get tired of my lumps of chicken rice meat :)
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I always feel like i disappoint people with my answers.
You know which questions, i'm sure you do. They ask anything related to your job that you're supposed to know everything about.
Case in point. I'm in the healthcare line, thus people will not unexpectedly ask me things ranging from chest pains, to disfigured feet, to abscesses which live in a sunless world. Sure, people will always look to the nearest person for answers, but.. i have the feeling i'm supposed to give them an elaborate answer, complete with medications and urgent, immediate actions they must take or they will die in 12 months.
If you have pain, the obvious thing would be to see if there is anything in the immediate surroundings which might be or did cause it, ie: the pole sticking in your chest is albeit stopping any bleeding but i'm pretty sure you need to get it out. Soon. Splinter? Tight bra? Jeans which chaff unmentionables and thus explain a certain soreness? Havn't eaten for a day and don't know why you're feeling faint?
If you don't have any obvious symptoms, like, oh say.. a one sided slackness, or a crushing pain in the chest follwed by arm numbness, chances are i might not know what is wrong with you either. If you consistently need analgesia stronger than panadol, yes, i'm afraid i'm going to tell you to get your ass to a dr's to find the root cause.
I suppose it would be glorious if i could tell you to bleed 2 chickens, blend their giblets and drink it with ginseng after drinking your own pee for 5 dawns in a south-westerly direction. Or i could deduce what illness you have if, while you are drinking your pee, you notice it smells of petunias.
I can't take your pulse and tell you you're preggers, or prepare poltices for you people. I don't know if it is Definitely stress that is giving you chest pains.
But i can tell you which drs give the most medical leave :)
You know which questions, i'm sure you do. They ask anything related to your job that you're supposed to know everything about.
Case in point. I'm in the healthcare line, thus people will not unexpectedly ask me things ranging from chest pains, to disfigured feet, to abscesses which live in a sunless world. Sure, people will always look to the nearest person for answers, but.. i have the feeling i'm supposed to give them an elaborate answer, complete with medications and urgent, immediate actions they must take or they will die in 12 months.
If you have pain, the obvious thing would be to see if there is anything in the immediate surroundings which might be or did cause it, ie: the pole sticking in your chest is albeit stopping any bleeding but i'm pretty sure you need to get it out. Soon. Splinter? Tight bra? Jeans which chaff unmentionables and thus explain a certain soreness? Havn't eaten for a day and don't know why you're feeling faint?
If you don't have any obvious symptoms, like, oh say.. a one sided slackness, or a crushing pain in the chest follwed by arm numbness, chances are i might not know what is wrong with you either. If you consistently need analgesia stronger than panadol, yes, i'm afraid i'm going to tell you to get your ass to a dr's to find the root cause.
I suppose it would be glorious if i could tell you to bleed 2 chickens, blend their giblets and drink it with ginseng after drinking your own pee for 5 dawns in a south-westerly direction. Or i could deduce what illness you have if, while you are drinking your pee, you notice it smells of petunias.
I can't take your pulse and tell you you're preggers, or prepare poltices for you people. I don't know if it is Definitely stress that is giving you chest pains.
But i can tell you which drs give the most medical leave :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I hadn't been for about 2 months, and was happy that morning i decided to go to church. It was going to be a really good day, i thought, and was all smiley. She hadn't been for, oh, 8 mths, and no one knew if she was ever coming back. "She's changed." they whispered behind her back, no one wanting to have a prolonged conversation about bags or makeup.
Who would have thought we would both decide to come back on the same day to church? During the opening hymm i saw a flash of her red jacket, and at that instant, turned and recognised her. Inadvertently (fittingly) invoking God's name as i saw her. The bf turned and saw his ex. We stared at in other in mortification and other. We stared at the hymm lyrics. It had to happen sooner or later. Why not now?
I knew it was about time we met, i'd wanted to long ago. Recognising her from her pictures was easy. Its bizarre, but sitting behind her i was able to observe all her little motions and the sound of her coughs, of her voice as she greeted the rest of the group, and every little thing seemed so..her. More of recognition than observing, i felt. Of all things her mom was there, and i felt her eyes on me, When i looked up to meet her mom's eyes, i couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she seemed to be smiling slightly. Great.
Later when we all sat together after service, it was hard for me to say anything to her. She studiously avoided my eye after i caught it, sat as far away from me as possible, and i would have laughed at her efforts to remain so blase if i had not been feeling so unerved myself. I almost felt sorry, the way the girls in the group didn't exactly hurry to welcome her back, the way they they recoiled a little the more she flashed her scarlet nails and makeup around. I might have left, if not for the steadying look in jamerson's eyes, and his gentle pressure of reassurement on my hands as he left me alone with the girls.
Did i have reason to feel awkward? Yes. Did i have reason to feel guilty? I think we all three do.
Crap.
Who would have thought we would both decide to come back on the same day to church? During the opening hymm i saw a flash of her red jacket, and at that instant, turned and recognised her. Inadvertently (fittingly) invoking God's name as i saw her. The bf turned and saw his ex. We stared at in other in mortification and other. We stared at the hymm lyrics. It had to happen sooner or later. Why not now?
I knew it was about time we met, i'd wanted to long ago. Recognising her from her pictures was easy. Its bizarre, but sitting behind her i was able to observe all her little motions and the sound of her coughs, of her voice as she greeted the rest of the group, and every little thing seemed so..her. More of recognition than observing, i felt. Of all things her mom was there, and i felt her eyes on me, When i looked up to meet her mom's eyes, i couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she seemed to be smiling slightly. Great.
Later when we all sat together after service, it was hard for me to say anything to her. She studiously avoided my eye after i caught it, sat as far away from me as possible, and i would have laughed at her efforts to remain so blase if i had not been feeling so unerved myself. I almost felt sorry, the way the girls in the group didn't exactly hurry to welcome her back, the way they they recoiled a little the more she flashed her scarlet nails and makeup around. I might have left, if not for the steadying look in jamerson's eyes, and his gentle pressure of reassurement on my hands as he left me alone with the girls.
Did i have reason to feel awkward? Yes. Did i have reason to feel guilty? I think we all three do.
Crap.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
In beauty, with words, in form
with emotions, in love, with expression
uneasy routine all.
living between poles
wanting flames,
yet never frozen,
unsure as half bloomed flowers between seasons.
Crown my joys
or cure my pain
but my deadness
it drives me insane.
Sometimes its nice to give in and sound like i've just missed a dose of anti-depressants, but really.. What fuels writing (mine are various states of drivel, but i like them just the same), and many expressions of self are emotional driven; sometimes so much so that we think of their authors and creators as either manic, depressive, or everything inbetween( or outside the normal range of sanity.
Sometimes i give up things, take them as dead because i think things shldn't, or can't go furthur. Sometimes i think that if i took more effort to see things and people to their end, i'd find out alot more about should and could.
with emotions, in love, with expression
uneasy routine all.
living between poles
wanting flames,
yet never frozen,
unsure as half bloomed flowers between seasons.
Crown my joys
or cure my pain
but my deadness
it drives me insane.
Sometimes its nice to give in and sound like i've just missed a dose of anti-depressants, but really.. What fuels writing (mine are various states of drivel, but i like them just the same), and many expressions of self are emotional driven; sometimes so much so that we think of their authors and creators as either manic, depressive, or everything inbetween( or outside the normal range of sanity.
Sometimes i give up things, take them as dead because i think things shldn't, or can't go furthur. Sometimes i think that if i took more effort to see things and people to their end, i'd find out alot more about should and could.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I wrote yesterday.
It got eaten up by the random pc i was using in the lab.
*sobs*
It gets harder and harder to pen brain to keyboard, so i'll just meander gently and aimlessly, letting thoughts lead me where they will.
While the parents were abroad, my maternal grandmother aka por por, gave a call to ask someone to pick up some ba zhang (rice dumplings wrapped with pandan leaves). The call annoyed me, because i knew it wld have to be me to run down. P.p stays in pipit road, which is just off McPherson road.. A sleepy corner overlooking the aljunied bit of the P.I.E, and coincidentally where i did quite a bit of my growing up. I don't know why, but the morning air, with only the geriatric to be seen doing tai chi, or old men playing chess in the morning sun seemed to lighten my step as i walked briskly towards the block.
As i sat at the old table laden with egg yolks, shrimp, ginko nuts and siew yoke (roasted pork), again i felt bad that i never visit. How to put this into words? I cant begin to describe the immense satisfaction i felt as i tried to make a couple ugly mishapen lumps of rice. It wasn't just that i felt tradition taking a hold of me, as i looked upon the old coal burner and pots she was using. It wasn't just that i felt truly aware of my ties for the first time, as she spoke in cantonese and showed me how to fold the leaves into an ideal nook. I think it was just..sweet contentment.
What kind of routine do we put ourselves through when contentment is such a rare commodity in our lives?
I told j about the unsurety i harbour. Children, my stance on present matters, the whole thingamajig. Later i dreamt that he took me to Tiffany's where he chose a ring. I gazed at it; the vivid and darkly green jade carved piece in the center, and the loop around my finger a delicate gold wrought circle which looked pretty enough to wear on own. (I know, i know, they wld never stock such a thing) It looked like a glorious vintage piece, something lasting and precious. I looked and looked, admired and twisted my hands around to see it in all the angles of the light.. After a while, i took it off, held it in my hands for the last time, and gave it back to j, saying that even though there was no doubt it was a treasure, it was just not me
The spooks in my unit are getting more and more restless, with a particular one being rather spirited. She/it continued tapping a colleague on the shoulder after the boys had stopped playing. One evening i felt a wierd tingling sensation on my back and not long after, chris saw the shadow of a woman lunge towards him before it disappeared. And now i must go give kisses of thanks to whoever it was who told me not to turn around when you hear or feel..stuff.
It got eaten up by the random pc i was using in the lab.
*sobs*
It gets harder and harder to pen brain to keyboard, so i'll just meander gently and aimlessly, letting thoughts lead me where they will.
While the parents were abroad, my maternal grandmother aka por por, gave a call to ask someone to pick up some ba zhang (rice dumplings wrapped with pandan leaves). The call annoyed me, because i knew it wld have to be me to run down. P.p stays in pipit road, which is just off McPherson road.. A sleepy corner overlooking the aljunied bit of the P.I.E, and coincidentally where i did quite a bit of my growing up. I don't know why, but the morning air, with only the geriatric to be seen doing tai chi, or old men playing chess in the morning sun seemed to lighten my step as i walked briskly towards the block.
As i sat at the old table laden with egg yolks, shrimp, ginko nuts and siew yoke (roasted pork), again i felt bad that i never visit. How to put this into words? I cant begin to describe the immense satisfaction i felt as i tried to make a couple ugly mishapen lumps of rice. It wasn't just that i felt tradition taking a hold of me, as i looked upon the old coal burner and pots she was using. It wasn't just that i felt truly aware of my ties for the first time, as she spoke in cantonese and showed me how to fold the leaves into an ideal nook. I think it was just..sweet contentment.
What kind of routine do we put ourselves through when contentment is such a rare commodity in our lives?
I told j about the unsurety i harbour. Children, my stance on present matters, the whole thingamajig. Later i dreamt that he took me to Tiffany's where he chose a ring. I gazed at it; the vivid and darkly green jade carved piece in the center, and the loop around my finger a delicate gold wrought circle which looked pretty enough to wear on own. (I know, i know, they wld never stock such a thing) It looked like a glorious vintage piece, something lasting and precious. I looked and looked, admired and twisted my hands around to see it in all the angles of the light.. After a while, i took it off, held it in my hands for the last time, and gave it back to j, saying that even though there was no doubt it was a treasure, it was just not me
The spooks in my unit are getting more and more restless, with a particular one being rather spirited. She/it continued tapping a colleague on the shoulder after the boys had stopped playing. One evening i felt a wierd tingling sensation on my back and not long after, chris saw the shadow of a woman lunge towards him before it disappeared. And now i must go give kisses of thanks to whoever it was who told me not to turn around when you hear or feel..stuff.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
listening to: black cherry
goldfrapp
Black cherry makes for good making out background. Now, now, it was just a thought.
I refused to blog about the elections, and i still won't. Just have 3 things to say before i zip up.
goldfrapp
Black cherry makes for good making out background. Now, now, it was just a thought.
I refused to blog about the elections, and i still won't. Just have 3 things to say before i zip up.
- Did no one else get called a sympathist and not in a good way?
- Teo ser luck looks less dishy without his specs. Why do people always assume they look better without?
- Um. Make it 2 points, because im not sure if free speech is allowed.
It's been really quiet these weeks. Probably just me, and i'm beginning to feel positively like a hermitess(sometimes). That politeness, that tact, and that diplomacy is wearing thin and i don't want to blow up/be rude to anyone because i'll just feel bad for days. So far it's just been reservations that didn't materialise, a small mouth that just wouldn't close, and a masculine one which took liberty with addressing me. In the midst of there being too many things to do, the feeling of standing still doesn't dissipate. Things don't get moved fast enough. I believe the name to the sensation is wound up :)
Picked up the ol' running shoes, but all i've been doing is stumbling, or making distressing (to the other runners) breathing noises. My secret goal is to run the standard chartered (quarter marathon anyone?) at the year end.Which year end i'm not sure yet. Not everyone knows i fag, and i've been intermittently off for 2 mths, and completely for 3 weeks. God knows, its one of the things i enjoy wholeheartedly, and being near someone who does, or catching a whiff of the that heavy scent that is so sweet to me, is enough to want to make me renege and be satisfied i'll live till 40. I figure if i run enough, i'll be so miserable with aching that i forget running off to the mama store to get my fix.
J and i were at Ikea, when i sur·rep·ti·tiously noticed , from the back, a tall feminine figure all in white. "Hot!", i thought to myself. I didn't count on J noticing her either. This is the first time he's noticed someone and had a reaction like that when he's with me, and i'm shamed to say it but..I'm sweetly jealous. He went on to extoll the virtues of her features, her height, and maddingly, he looked like he was in a bit of a daze. Eurasian, very young, and pretty breasty, very leggy. There was no denying she was damningly gorgeous. It's strange for me to feel this way, to feel a little ashamed that i didn't look perfect for him, right then and there.
Ack. Must be the nicotine, or lack therof thats making me womanly weak!!!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
listening to: touch the sky
kanye west lupe fiasco
So the date has been set. I've never voted, and happily, it looks like this year won't be an exclusion. Do i care? Sure. Do i care as much as , say, how much my next holiday is costing? No. Because i know i will be called to exercise judgement which will be in turn utilised, which is more then i can say for the former.
Moving on.
Why are men so hyperchondriacal? I nod, and wince as J tells me about his pain, i plain well remember what mine felt like. Sometimes though, i wonder how it is that he's hit his age and is still so.....
J: I've told work to prepare for my absence next week. One week mc.
f: How do you know its one week?
J:All wisdom teeth extractions give a week's worth.
f: Oh..You already know its a wisdom tooth?
J: Dunno. Can't feel whether it's a cavity or wisdom tooth.
f: The whole area too sore, sweetie?
J: Not sure. Feels like there's no tooth left.
f: Isn't there a hole? Some sharp edges? If it's a cavity...
J: Dunno leh. Think have both a cavity and wisdom tooth.
It's like for every problem, they have to think of the worse possible scary scenario.
It's like when you get a cough, and ask me if i think it's pneumonia because there's a rattling in your chest.
Or the way you ask if i think you're having heart attacks.
Or ask me why you're feeling weak when you havn't had either lunch or dinner.
Sweetheart, i know you're in pain, and i'll hold your hand while waiting for you to go into the dentist's, but i'll still laugh when you come out drooling and wadded with wool.
Never date someone who causes pain on a daily basis. We're overated, and we don't come with the uniform.
kanye west lupe fiasco
So the date has been set. I've never voted, and happily, it looks like this year won't be an exclusion. Do i care? Sure. Do i care as much as , say, how much my next holiday is costing? No. Because i know i will be called to exercise judgement which will be in turn utilised, which is more then i can say for the former.
Moving on.
Why are men so hyperchondriacal? I nod, and wince as J tells me about his pain, i plain well remember what mine felt like. Sometimes though, i wonder how it is that he's hit his age and is still so.....
J: I've told work to prepare for my absence next week. One week mc.
f: How do you know its one week?
J:All wisdom teeth extractions give a week's worth.
f: Oh..You already know its a wisdom tooth?
J: Dunno. Can't feel whether it's a cavity or wisdom tooth.
f: The whole area too sore, sweetie?
J: Not sure. Feels like there's no tooth left.
f: Isn't there a hole? Some sharp edges? If it's a cavity...
J: Dunno leh. Think have both a cavity and wisdom tooth.
It's like for every problem, they have to think of the worse possible scary scenario.
It's like when you get a cough, and ask me if i think it's pneumonia because there's a rattling in your chest.
Or the way you ask if i think you're having heart attacks.
Or ask me why you're feeling weak when you havn't had either lunch or dinner.
Sweetheart, i know you're in pain, and i'll hold your hand while waiting for you to go into the dentist's, but i'll still laugh when you come out drooling and wadded with wool.
Never date someone who causes pain on a daily basis. We're overated, and we don't come with the uniform.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Bothering you, distracting you,
you swatting, you grunting,
Tickling you, bemuddling you,
you sighing, you pouting,
you forcing
me to desist,
i stealing
your note of bliss,
its always fleeting
times like these,
sweet just like
a candied lick.
i read once
and grin again,
your love lines
supremely sublime;
but 'forever', my sweet
don't you think
it's just another
divine myth?
you swatting, you grunting,
Tickling you, bemuddling you,
you sighing, you pouting,
you forcing
me to desist,
i stealing
your note of bliss,
its always fleeting
times like these,
sweet just like
a candied lick.
i read once
and grin again,
your love lines
supremely sublime;
but 'forever', my sweet
don't you think
it's just another
divine myth?
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