Incandescent

Listening to~ Destiny
By Zero 7.


1- I love the wind in my hair.. Happiness is 3 am at 140 on the road, with no windows. Purrs

2- I never realised it was possible to get turned off by hair around nipps, until i got a slight queasiness that left me avoiding looking at the clumps of hair around a friends at beach.. Was it mean of me to notice? Symmetry is always nice.

3- Rage is taking me by the roots of my soul, making me feel like sloughing off everthing in one raw tug. I want to skin his face too. Let her heal it.

4- I finally spoke up to my boss. And promptly got some ego stroking and recognition!! Go me!

5- I blew hundreds on some plain blue dress for me bro's wedding. When i brought it back home to scrutinise, i noticed it makes me look fat. Even my mom commented on it. Can i grow some foreskin and call myself Jude? I'm sick of being a girl. I want to never shave and let my leg hair wave in the breeze.

On a sadder note, one of my intimate friends invited me to go on a christmas holiday with him and his bf. How pathetic do i look, i wonder, for him to ask? *snif* And he hates the blue dress too.

Boy meets girl
Boy meets girl years later
Boy and girl get it on
and off
and on
and off again.
Girl cant make up her mind
a mth after they split, he decides to get married to a girl he's known for 2 weeks.

Me is not a happy camper :(

Still, for those of you who've been trying to cheer me up, thankies sweeties. I could be so much worse, you should be grateful im so considerate that i keep my whining to a minimum. Bear with me, you know i'll come out farting violets and streaming sun beams from me smile. Till then..uh...

till then...

*twiddles thumbs*

till then dont mind the damp tissues around the place.

Terribly addicted to some of the numbers on this soundtrack. Sometimes melancholy needs a lil encouragment :)
http://haoting.com/musiclist/ht_b7eb728e21dee38f.htm

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

E. E. Cummings


Sometimes we do things that we wish we didn't have to. Playing at being adults can be so tiring.. Its worse when you realise one day that.. you are a grown up, one of those.

Sometimes the decisions we make leave us drier and drier, like one of the husks of tiny fruits you see scattered along the paths you walk. I look at the lines on my hands, and think they belong on an old woman. If i could look inside my heart, i wonder what i would find? Not just mine, but all of our's.

I wish my booboo would go away just with a kiss and squeeze.